Was going to blog on Friday, but I finished H-W.I.P. instead.
I know, right? Priorities K.T. Priorities! Sheesh.
Then, I was going to blog on Saturday because I managed a whopping 17358 words on Friday to reach my 80689 total for H. But then I thought, is that a reason to blog? I mean, it’s just a first draft. It doesn’t matter that I can push a first draft out at the speed of … fingers. The point is that it’ll take at least another six months before that draft becomes an even potentially decent book/story.
So, then I felt down.
Yes, that’s right. You heard it here first. Me and my constant stream of OMG YOU CAN DO IT?
We also get down on ourself (I don’t care if that’s not really a word, it is now).
The title of this post is very accurate – and relates to my series of Writer Self-Esteem posts in a major way.
When it comes down to it – when everything is stripped away from me: my support network, my CPs, my betas, and my slowly gained self-confidence. When all that is gone, I’m left with me and my own #writemotivation.
Do I have the drive and the will to succeed? Do I love my characters and their worlds and their stories enough to continue, regardless of anything else that might interrupt? Do I truly want to be a writer?
I go through this rather often, but usually it’s short lived and I thwap myself on the head and tell self: Self! Stop it! Write or the people in your brain will drive you insane! (And though this wasn’t supposed to rhyme, it’s cool that it does.)
Usually, it only takes me a few minutes to squelch that doubt and continue on my determined way.
But not this weekend. Whether I pushed it too far with finishing a draft in a week (not my fault, my brain wouldn’t stop and my wrists hurt). Whether I should have thwapped myself in a timely manner so I didn’t start thinking about the finished work and how much overhauling it was going to need (I require at least two months away from a finished wip to gain perspective). Or, Whether I simply started feeling lost in this big and currently confusing publishing future…
It doesn’t matter.
The point is – this weekend I floundered.
I’m okay today – I’ve relegated H to the back of my mind and will attack it some time after April. I’m working on a critique for an awesome CP, and I’ve decided that since I’ve finished my February to do list with so much time to spare (thank you aching wrists of doom), I’m going to take this time to do some much missed reading – and catch up on campaign blogs I’ve seriously neglected this last week.
To all of my friends who compliment me far too readily. To all of the wonderful #writemotivation participants (without whom I think I’d sometimes be useless) –
I’m just me. I’m not super at this. I’m not confident in anything but my determination.
And I have no idea what I’m doing.
But I do love writing. And even when I’m down that, soul fact can make me smile.
Thank you to everyone for making it easier even though you might not realize it.
What kicks you in the butt when you need it most? Do you have any tricks to get yourself up out of the doldrums? When it comes down to you, and you alone, what makes writing worth continuing?
~
If you haven’t signed up and would like some twitter butt kicking from #writemotivation. Don’t forget to sign up by the 28th!
Yes, I meant soul fact 😀 I punny 😛
A first draft in a week???? Dang girl, you rocked it!! I usually give myself 3-4weeks for a first draft. *jumps up and down cheering for K.T.*
Thanks 😀 It is just a first draft. There’s months and months of work to go yet 😉 And 3-4 weeks is freaking fantastic!
You have release soon!!! *jumps up and down for you*
awwww, I feel like I’ve neglected you this weekend! I’m sorry! *hugs*
But, you know, we all go through it. And, today was my day. I’m constantly thwapping myself on the head today…to the steady beat of a drum. Pretty cool sometimes I get a good beat going. I think it’s the gloominess of the rain for me, though. 🙂 We all will emerge victorious! *hugs*
Naaa hon, I was in one of those moods where anyone trying to be nice to me would have made me feel worse hehe
We will emerge victorious hehe
You are amazing!!! Wow, that’s such an awesome accomplishment. Go you! You deserve to take it easy for the rest of the month. 😉
… you wrote all of that in a week? REALLY? OMG. *gasp* How is your brain still functioning? 😛
7 days and 3 hours to be precise 😉 And my brain isn’t really functioning … it’s kind of in limbo lol
Thank you 😀 Oh I AM taking it easy haha 😀
Wow, impressive. I love to write and I can’t even approach a first draft in a week. Okay, I never tried it, but still. My best writing days lately are about 5,000 words and I’ve been proud of that.
When I get stuck writing, I’ve learned a new little trick called fast drafting. It’s all about getting the dialogue or the action down with the barest or no description at all. It’s all about moving the story forward. When you go back for the editing and rewriting you can add all the description you need. The first goal is get the story finished.
Oh Fast drafting sounds like fun. I’m so glad you have a way to get through the stuck parts. And 5k a day is awesome. I binge write – so I only do huge stints like this every few months. The rest of the time I edit or crit or read.
wow! I’m almost speechless. Almost! You rock. Seriously. I’m glad you can get yourself out the rut. I usually can talk myself out of it.. it might take me a little while, but I get myself out. I love it too much not to do it. 🙂
Yep – we love it too much – that’s the perfect reason. Completely correct too 😀
And I don’t rock, I just type almost as fast as my brain goes lol… I wish I could keep up
A first draft finished in a week? Seriously, that is cause for a virtual celebration with confetti and wine, lots and lots of wine. 🙂
Every step accomplished is wonderful.
I can certainly understand your moment of “blah” with things. It happens, even to the best of us – like you. But you’ve moved on from that funk and found that extra sunshine in critting and reading. Sometimes, it is good to let the funk run its course so it can get out of your system. Big hugs your way for doing so AWESOME!!!!
Hehe I don’t drink, but I’ll do the confetti, and have cheese instead. I love cheese <3
Yeah - the blah sets in sometimes, but nothing will come of it if I just let myself wallow. So while I may give into it for a little bit - I'll be stern with myself and thwap me.
Look how awesome you are! This is inspiring! :0)
Awww – thanks hon 😀
If we compliment you, it’s generally because you ARE awesome and we don’t know what to do except say it. 🙂 Look how much you accomplish – not just on the writing front but with the networking and the campaign you created.
It’s not always easy for writers to believe in themselves, but that’s okay – that’s why you surround yourself with people who do – people like your hubby and your CPs – and they carry you through the rough patches. At least, that’s what gets me through. The writing will come no matter what (we can’t help ourselves, after all), but the community is a bonus. 😉
(And next time you have a weekend flounder, you text me. I mean it. :P)
Shush you – Go find York 😛
I think having community helps, and people who are honest with you but encourage you and help you be better at what you love.
And next time I flounder, I will text you 😀
What gets me down the most is not having time to myself. Today, for instance, a woman drove into my yard with a broken fan belt. I couldn’t turn her away. That used nearly a half an hour. My son is home sick with the flu, I didn’t sleep well last night, and the list goes on. I keep reminding myself that everything has a time, I just have to find it. Then I find that hour or half hour, sit down, and fall in love with writing all over again.
Time to yourself is crucial. And you’re far too nice, you know that? Hope your son gets better soon and I’ll see you shortly 😀
Aww! A first draft is a huge accomplishment! Do you know how many people don’t get that far? Do you know how many manuscripts never make it past 50k? 20k? 10k? Just that in it’s own fact is enough for you to want to keep going! Keep heart, K.T. because I am consistently inspired by all you do. So, continue on!
Also, You’ve been tagged! http://iwriteandread.blogspot.com/2012/02/wip-wednesday-week-3-and-tag-youre-it.html
You really hammered that first draft out. What makes a person stay a writer over those who thrown in the towel is the ones who can get past the down times. Those moments where someone feels they are wasting their time and should pursue something other than a pipe dream. Determination is one of the most powerful things we can rely on. Well, along with the realization you have no idea what you’d do if you DIDN’T write.
However you feel about yourself and the first draft of your WiP, I AM PROUD OF YOU. Your dedication is something I only wish I could mimic. You are a role model for fellow writers and as long as you keep going, you will get what you want. I know it. 🙂