Being kind for the sake of being kind doesn’t help someone improve their skills. Being honest does.
Although I’ve known this for a long time, it recently hit home. I realized not everyone is lucky enough to receive good constructive criticism. Yesterday, I saw something that opened my eyes.
This post is inspired by a random piece I saw where the writer asked for people to tell them what they honestly thought. The piece was badly written and confusing in its expression. Editing was non-existent. Repetition, missing words, and the amount of I in the piece made my head hurt.
I scrolled to the feedback expecting to see some people say that the story had promise (and the story did), but the execution lacked and it would be much better if the writer worked on a,b and c when polishing it.
Instead, what I saw was: “Oh, this is great.” “I love this piece. You’re so good.” “You’re getting better every time I read something.”
Now this last could be true, so I went back through some pieces and found that no, the writer wasn’t improving and had constantly received this type of praise.
Of course they’re not going to improve if no one takes a red pen to their work and shows them where they’re going wrong. If all they get is a pat on the back from everyone who reads their work, they’ll never improve and will live with a false sense of security and confidence that will crush them when they display their bad writing in any sort of serious environment.
If you’re doing this to be kind – the person you’re lying to (and yes, while nice, it’s still a lie) thinks you really mean this compliment. They don’t think they have to practice because everyone thinks their work is just ‘great’!
How do you solve this?
If you’re a writer:
Don’t surround yourself with yes people. Find those people who’re willing to be honest with you. Make sure they’re not dicks. You don’t want those either. What you want are people who will point out both the positive and the negative.
For example: I love the way you describe this, I can see it in my head. But this other paragraph doesn’t work because of a, b and c.
So, they give you some positive reinforcement, but point out where you’ve gone wrong and offer some suggestions as to how to fix it. You might only get one uplifting comment per 5000 words (or maybe an overall positive thing), but they’ll be there. And the better you get with practice, the more balance there’ll be.
Deal with your critiques. Read them and step away so you can look at them in a more objective light. They’re there to help you.
If you’re a critiquer:
Don’t be nice just to be nice. Be honest. Offer suggestions on how to fix things, or why they sound wrong.
Make sure you find (actively look for) positive and negative aspects. Don’t be a dick and only point out the doom and gloom, with no hope or solution in sight.
If you’re a reader giving an opinion:
Don’t cushion what you feel when you read. Make sure the writer understands you might trip over sections, or that them leaving out a phrase has made the paragraph confusing. Don’t just say: Good job, mate.
[Edit] For clarification: this is a reader who is NOT a writer
There’s a fine line between encouragement and lying. Don’t be cruel and hamper someone’s progress by telling them something is good when it isn’t.
Sometimes being cruel IS being kind.
How do you deal with crits? What about giving them? Do you have a criteria to go by? Are you an honest critiquer or do you prefer to shy away from them?
~
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I agree with the first part. I chose my crit group very carefully to exclude the rah-rah team. All of us are very objective about each other’s work.
But I’m not sure what you mean about the ‘reader’. Do you mean the reader of an already published work? When I review a published story I don’t use the same criteria as when I critique. I go in assuming it’s been vetted by CPs and professionally edited, and concentrate instead on the emotional investment of the story.
Oh I have readers, who aren’t writers. People who love reading books who can give me the perspective of a reader. And I don’t want them to be cheerleaders either, but they won’t critique my work. They’ll give me an overall view. What they understood. What confused them. Characters they liked/disliked and why.
It’s great feedback when it’s not purely rah-rah 😉
I don’t think that a writer should have different standards between a piece that is pre-published to one that is post-published. Recently, I’ve read a few pieces that were published, and I thought they had gone through the whole process of critique and revision. But, unfortunately, they didn’t seem to have the same feel as a traditional published book. My standards are one in the same between the self/indie published book and the traditional published book. If the author wants to better their writing, they should read the reviews that tell them why something just didn’t work. It may not be something that many can fix, but it gives them an idea for their future work.
I recently wrote a post about “should writers review books” because of this very thing. If everyone goes out and say “I love it” when it really isn’t all that good, it eventually will come back to bite them in their butts. Readers will notice and their sells/reads will dwindle. A writer who does not get better with time, who cannot take constructive criticism well, or always surrounds themselves with people who will stroke their ego, are not looking at the long term. They are the instant gratification, here and now, type of writer.
In the long run, this is NOT the way to help someone–whether you are a writer, a reader, or both! Thanks KT! I soooooo agree!
I think I should have prefaced it with when you ask for a crit – you need to make sure the people who you ask to crit aren’t yes men.
In the long run – squee doesn’t improve anything
I agree with this.. all of it. When I ask people to read my stuff, I want them to be honest because that’s the only way I’ll grow as a writer, therefore that’s the way I critique as well. Though sometimes I forget to point out the stuff that is great.. and that is helpful feedback as well.
Once I’m done with revisions, I plan to find readers to read my stuff for feedback. I think that part of the process will be so fun, to have non-writers critique it.
Yep and when you ask people to read, then I think we all brace ourselves for the criticism we know will come. The things we need to fix, the things that confuse the reader or sound awkward.
Getting readers to read for you, is an awesome thing. Often they have insights writers don’t.
I have been the recipient of both good and bad critiquers (one of my FIRST real critiques was almost flaming. I was just starting to write fanfic, and it was the first thing I’d shown to anyone, and I got a scathing review. The writing was awful, but I think people need to be a little more sensitive when people are saying things like ‘this is my first time!’)
To be honest, it was hard, but my love of writing was enough that it didn’t stop me. I’m so grateful that someone told me something needed help, but I do wish that they had been a bit more tactful about it in the beginning!
That’s why you try to make sure the people you surround yourself with aren’t dicks 😉 This is very important. Even valid points hold little meaning when they’re not expressed properly. A lot of it is in the delivery.
The content of this post would do a whole lot of good being re-written for singers. A lot of American Idol contestants could use this reality check instead of getting it done on national TV in front of millions of people. But then I guess the ratings would drop if that happened. Sadly, with writing, only a few will have to read the nonsense then it will be gone with the wind. Even sadder, some writers who ask for honest critiques don’t want it and some critters don’t know how to give it.
Haha 😀 It applies to a lot of things actually. Being nice and being helpful can sometimes be two different things.
And you’re right, a lot of writers who ask for crits, aren’t prepared for real ones.
I’m a reader, I love to read when I have the time. I had a friend who writes, I don’t believe she has anything published, and when I was staying with her in London, she always wanted me to read her work, so I did, and I was honest with her, not a ‘dick’ but just honest, I told her what I thought, I told her what I see in my mind when I read what she wrote, and she took that on. I don’t feel, I sugar coat anything, and it’s something she really appreciated. I have to agree 100% with your entire post. To nice can be cruel in the long run.
I think that’s a great attitude. Tell them what you like, but what didn’t quite work. It can only make them better in the long run.
I am a very honest critiquer, but I also get excited easily. I tell the parts of the story that I fell in love with, but I will tell all the places and things that aren’t working. I’m nice about how I give critique too. My CP is the brutally honest type. She’ll just come out and tell you when it sucks. And yeah, it stings a bit, but it’s so much better than her lying to me. But because of that, I’ve also become quite good at receiving critiques. I take them in, no matter how mean they may seem, consider and choose what to do with them.
I am sad for anyone who doesn’t have that in their writing life.
(However one thing I disagree with. It’s nice to have people who will always give you good feedback when you’re drafting. When things are bleak and you’re on the verge of quitting or breaking down into tears from stress, it’s sometimes nice to have people who will only say good, and not something like “I love this part, but this descriptive passage could use some help,” even though that IS helpful. But, I’d argue, that’s the only time they are good.)
I also feel bad for anyone who doesn’t have an honest critiquer in their lives.
Oh we don’t really disagree. I don’t count a first draft as being ready for any type of critique. Receiving a critique from someone on a first draft can ruin the whole creative process. I have alpha readers who cheer me on when I write first drafts. That cheering helps me reach the end. But once I’ve gone over that first draft and worked it a few times so it becomes a second draft – that’s when I’m ready for critique.
Cheering squads have their places, but not once you’re ready for critique. 😀
Critiquing is a tough job. But giving truth is really the only way to go. Perhaps writers understanding a piece can always be improved is the best way they can go about their piece. Even after said piece has been published.
Personally, when I critique someone’s story, I try to be as honest as possible. I’ve manage to upset a few people, but like you mentioned, just saying the piece is good when the story needs is improvement is worse. I always have to laugh when people say they held back on critiques and make it sound like they performed a favor.
Everyday I remind myself how fortunate I am to have surrounded myself with people willing to read my material and butcher it every time. I always get the worried editor who is concerned I will be upset about what they said. But how can someone get better without constructive criticism? I’ve learned so much from fellow writers and their edits, I could teach a class on the subject.
I’m happy to hear you’re not afraid to be honest. In writing, being kind IS being cruel. You go KT. 🙂
It can really be difficult (and I haven’t forgotten about the rest of your crit. I have it slated for Monday :D)
Honesty can be balanced well. It’s rare you can’t find any redeeming features. As long as you don’t just say crap crap crap with no solutions and no hope – most people should be good with it. But there are those who’re just not ready for crit yet.
You stated it very well when you said that “constructive” criticism doesn’t have to be cripplingly cruel. Even when something needs work, there’s always something positive that can be said. Even if it’s just noting the author’s passion for the piece. Real constructive criticism is rooted in the hope for improvement.
Yeah, the emphasis should be on constructive. Cruel criticism doesn’t benefit anyone. 😀
Why is it they’re called “Yes Men” instead of “Yes Women” or “Yes People”? I totally get your point though, being careful not to bruise feelings only makes things worse. 🙂
Hah! I never even thought of that. Just goes to show how outdates some clichés are 😉 – Next time I’ll call them Yes People or Yessers (because then I create a whole new word 🙂 )
If you’re not ready for someone to honestly tell you how you can improve, you shouldn’t be asking for a crit. The thing is, sometimes I don’t think people don’t realize they’re not ready.
Very well put K.T. I’m not “brutal” in my critiques but I am very honest and very thorough, and I expect the same from my CPs. It always amazes me when someone says they want xyz-type feedback then obviously can’t handle it (as has happened to me recently when the person I critiqued for didn’t even reply to say thank you for all the time I’d taken). I can only presume, after the fact, that they were looking for a “yes woman” and didn’t really want to learn/improve on their writing skills O_O I guess it’s their loss *shrugs*
Hugs,
Rach
Honest is a good thing. Even if it means major rewriting or restructuring something that doesn’t work for the reader. It’s all with an aim to make the story better. I can’t be a yes woman 😉
*hugs*
This is so true. I know that my critiques can be kind of brutal, because I will point out any and all grammar mistakes, clunky sentences, and areas that don’t make sense. That said, I also try to list at least one thing I like about the writer’s work as well. It can be so hard to put yourself out there.
By that way, I, too, am part of the writer’s platform campaign. Nice to meet you!
You can always give them something positive. Even if it’s tiny. But to not try and find that gem is mean, because it’s like telling someone they have no hope, and that’s just not true about writing. If you put in the practice, you will improve.
Nice to meet you too 😀