I have so much to do over the next two weeks I didn’t think I’d get to the 3rd Challenge but then I got an idea and it wouldn’t leave me alone.
Here are the rules.
Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
- that it’s morning,
- that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
- that the MC (main character) is bored
- that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
- that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: “synbatec,” “wastopaneer,” and “tacise.” (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).
I chose Flash Fiction (bet you’re surprised there). Not entirely sure I got everything, but this is the story my brain wanted, so here it is. It’s exactly 300 words in Word.
Hoping I got the surprise in. Let me know what you think – I should warn that it’s probably not what you’re expecting… unless it is 😉 If you like it please vote for #18
Do Unto Others
Sunlight bleeds into the sky as the new day dawns. Crimson light bathes the world for a while, blending eerily with the lump at his feet. Drae kicks it behind him, relishing in the dull thud of his heel against flesh.
Eyes closed, he spreads his arms wide. Wind rushes through his hair as salt dances on his tongue. The moment is broken by a whiff of something spoiled as the fresh coppery tang leaves the body to make room for decay.
He laughs, always one step from hysteria. Adrenaline and danger of the unknown motivate him to take these assignments.
And, of course, there’s the money.
He crouches down to survey his handiwork. The pulpy mess of her face makes identification practically impossible. Crunching bone punctuates the rolling waves while he completes his work. He holds zip-lock bags full of teeth and fingertips up in front of the sun.
“Can’t forget the fingertips.” Drae tells the swarm of seagulls nearby.
He reaches for his masterpiece with a sigh. Rifling through pockets to make sure he’s covered his bases isn’t exciting, but it is necessary.
Only one piece of paper catches his eye. “Synbatec, tacise, wastopaneer.”
A shiver runs down his spine. Clouds rush in and the seagulls flee. Something crunches sickeningly behind him
As he turns, the sudden squelch of pulverized flesh against his lips makes him gag. He doubles over as his teeth extract themselves and falls to his knees.
The skin peels back from his lips and he raises his hands to stop it, only to watch his fingertips snap off.
Her body lies lifeless once more, like it never moved. Teeth and fingertips litter the bloody sand around her.
His awareness remains intact while his body deteriorates and the seagulls return to pick at his eyes.
Whoa that was creepy! LOVED IT!! It was a little confusing but I think that’s what I liked about it! Wonderful job!! Definitely voting for you 🙂
(I’m entry #5)
Thank you so much! I was aiming for creepy but I think confusing might have been from my writing it past bed time lol. I’ll be starting to read tomorrow 🙂 must sleep now 🙂
Oh, I loved this! Very, very creepy!
Thank you. Creepy was definitely the aim.
Oh yes, very icky. Nice one!
Thank you 😀
Nice flash. Genre: horror. You had enough detail to pull me right in.
Oh thank you very much. I’m never sure if I can quite manage horror, but I love to try 😀
Oh very good, and chilling!!
Yay! Thank you 😀 I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Creepers! That got me sucked in 🙂
Excellent! Thank you. I’m glad it worked hehe
I hope no one saw me sitting here, covering my mouth. That was so (delightfully) creepy, K.T.! Nice work! 🙂
Haha! That’s awesome. Thank you so much. That’s a huge compliment.
Creepy, and kinda wish I wasn’t eating my lunch. Great entry!
Oops! Sorry. Perhaps I should put a warning on it. Do not read if eating!
I’m glad you liked it though. Sorry I ruined your lunch
Wow, gruesome as always! Lol! But, very interesting; making me want to read more! ; )
Thank you!
Yeah, I wasn’t going to participate in this one because I didn’t get immediately inspired and I’m on strict time constraints at the moment. But then… I got an idea that was much more my style 😉
Ooh creepy, I think he got what he deserved. Good job!
Thank you 😀 I wanted people to be creeped, but to be happy he got what was coming 😀
Wow! I did not see any of that coming. It is hard to creep me out with such beautiful writing–but you did. Bravo!
Really? Thank you so much! I’ve always wanted to write horror – I guess it worked hehe 😀
I was a bit confused as to if he was imagining himself being ripped apart or if the girls body came back to life and destroyed him but other than that I was definately intriqued. And to repeat as the others have, delightfully creepy.
Well, he could be doing both 😉
Maybe it’s all in his head. But the words on the paper are meant to be a curse – Do unto others. So, what he’s done to his target has been done to him. But yeah 300 words is very limiting hehe. Sorry it was confusing, but I’m really glad you liked it anyway 😀
Karma always finds a way… Very creepy indeed, there was a moment where I got confused; re-reading it I realised what you did -very clever!
Thank you for re-reading. I’m so happy it was clearer then. I didn’t mean to confuse, but what I wanted to do in 300 words was hard lol.
Yeah, Karma can be a bitch. Bet he’s not liking the money so much right about now 😉
Cool! Wasn’t quite sure where it was going at the start, but got juicy reading on. A bit like “Dexter meets Evil Dead”! I especially liked the last line – “peck, peck, peck”.
Haha – yes! Peck, peck. Evil dead meets Dexter – I like that analogy. Thank you!
Ugh! That was VERY dark and rather ugly … but so very well written! :))
Thank you, so much! 😀 I loved yours too.
Well done. You gave me the creepy crawlies. It was different than I thought it would be, but was still great. Good job!
Thank you. I wasn’t sure if I should warn that it’s horror, because it would give it away? I’m glad you liked it even though it was creepy.
I’m confused but it’s definitely zombie creepy!
Sorry you’re confused 🙁 But I’m glad you found it creepy hehe
Wow. Just wow.
There are so many fantastic little details in this piece. It’s a collection of things both beautiful and disgusting (I’m a particular fan of the use of “pulpy”). You’ve clearly got a masterful grasp on detail and how to balance it along with a perfect sense of pacing. If this is anything like the rest of your writing, K.T., I’d love to read what else you have!
…
*looks around* Me? Sorry, I have to go and frame this comment…
Thank you so much. I loved writing this piece and I’m glad it came across so well.
nicely horrific, if those two words go together?
They do now! Thank you. I’m really happy you liked it.
Um… wow! So many wonderfully gruesome details. I’m in love with your descriptions and your word choices: pulpy, coppery tang, pulverized, and squelch, especially. And that ending… *shudders* The piece was unique, intriguing and even after all that gore, I want more.
Thank you so much 😀 Squelch was one of my favourites, though I kept spelling it wrong hehe. I’m really glad it came across well. Makes me want to insert him into a story where I have more time to work with the subject hehe!
Creepy and rather gruesome. All three words on one scrap of paper was some idea!
Thanks! I didn’t want to use them as a replacement for commonplace words – so… I made them a curse 😀
Whoa! Holy crap! The imagery of this nearly knocked me out of my seat. It was masterful how delicately and beautifully you described some pretty sick stuff. Absolutely loved it. Thanks for the great read!
Thanks, hon! I hope I didn’t literally knock you out of your seat 😉 I’m so glad you liked it!
Very good take on the challenge. I enjoyed the twist, too.
Thank you very much!
w00t! Love this! And at least they can identify them both! hehe Very visual. It was like I was there on the beach watching the scene unfold. And I must agree with Rance, I need to read more if ALL your work is like this! 😀
Haha Thanks hon. Well, I hope to get all my work as refined as this 😉 Keep in mind this is only 300 words. Pretty easy to get down and bash into some semblance of good fiction… 90k on the other hand… lol
Okay that was grossly disturbing. Mine is #56
Thank you 😀 I aim to please 😉
Holy cow, your bad guy is purely BAD! Nice, nice job, K.T. Have you ever read the book Bullies, Bastards and Bitches? It’s a how-to book on writing the bad guys of fiction. I’ve learned so much in the first 20 pages already!
Love your entry!!!
Lol! Thank you! No, I haven’t read that book. But now I want to hehe. He’s a bad guy because my imagination came up with a dead body on a beach that needed a bad guy haha 😀
This is awesome. I am still cringing at he seagulls picking the eyes though. Eek! Great job!
Yes! Awesome. Thank you. The seagulls are supposed to make you shudder hehe
How incredibly gruesome! Glad to see this sick-o get his due, from his own victim, no less. Once again, great job! 🙂
Thanks! Yep, he gots him a curse, he did 😉 Tit for tat 😉
I can’t decide what was my favorite part – this line “as the fresh coppery tang leaves the body to make room for decay” or the part where he held the baggie full of teeth and fingertips up to the sunlight. Yikes! Had a sort of noir-horror feel to it. Well done!
Thank you so much. I’m really glad you liked both those lines – I can’t pick between them either 😉 Although, I’m noticing the word choice more now after the fact lol.
Great use of exposition to set the scene, and beautifully written too. Excellent, and thank you for having come to mine.
Thank you so much 😀 I really appreciate the comments. And of course 😀 I love reading the challenge entries. Thank you for popping over to visit!
Holy smokes! Gross, but good lol. I was hooked…
Thanks, I’m glad it hooked you 😀
Gross.
Gee, thanks Heather.
Super creepy, KT, loved it. As I read I was hoping he’d get his and boy did he!
Thank you, hon. Needed to hear that. And yep – what goes around 😉
Love the creepiness. You did a great job!
Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked it 😀
Very clever and well done. 🙂 Nice job!
Thank you so much 😀 Yours was cool and James Bond like! In an evil sort of way. Congrats on making it to round 2.
Ewww horrible! So grisly! I want to say I liked this, but I didn’t! His fingers snapping off and skin peeling back – ugh! Where do you think of all this gruesomeness? Love your writing though, very good :)Nice that he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Um, I’m not sure if I say thanks? Thanks for liking my writing 😀
As for where I get the gruesomeness? I kind of find it easy to show dark and disturbed things. So many fantastic words to show a setting. Pulverized, pungent, decay… Then again, it could just be that I love dark themes 😀
Ooh, horrific. I’ll still finish my breakfast. Great job. I voted.
Haha! Thank you. I’m really happy you’re still eating breakfast though 😀
Hi K.T. – Your Flash Fiction is creepy, but I think he got what he deserved.
Auntie Ilse
Dankeshoen Tante 😀
I’m happy he got what he deserved too!
Oooh, creepy! And justice is served. Surprise ending, definitely. Nice job:) I’m #65, returning your visit!
Thank you for popping by. I’m glad you liked his justice 😉 I felt he needed some hehe.
Very unpleasant. I like it.
mood (now a new follower)
Moody Writing
@mooderino
Thank you 😀 and thank you for following
Wow- that was ultra-gruesome. Good job and making my senses come to life.
Thank you so much. I had a great time writing it
NO, I was not expecting that ending. So surprising! eeww.
Thanks for the visit to my blog. Hope you liked my entry #91.
Clar
Excellent 😀 I’m glad it was surprising!
Aloha K.T. and Happy Birthday!
Thanks for the comments and your boy, Drae definitely got his comeuppence!
(You have a great website by the way… well done on all fronts!)
Thank you for popping by 😀 Yep, Drae definitely got smacked by Karma 😉
(and thank you SO much – I was thinking of changing the layout)
Woha! yikes! I wanted to run, right out of this website…lol.
Too creepy for me, its so well written.
Haha, thank you! Sorry I almost scared you away 😉
Have you had any horror published? This is good! very good!
No, I haven’t. But thank you for asking – I take that as a huge compliment 😀
Oh yeah now that’s what I’m talkn about!!! So…this guy is a serial killer?? My fav line is: ‘always one step away from hysteria’ LOL.
Im a touch bit confused by the ending? Duz the bludgeoned victim get up & kill him??? Sweet revenge??
Very creepy with strong horror & gore themes (clssification LOL) but I like it & u painted the picture perfectly in my sick little mind 🙂
Yep – he gets cursed by the words and gets that which he does to others done to him! KARMA! 😀
Oh wow, that was interesting! Good job on the challenge 🙂
Thank you 😀 Not sure where it came from, but it was fun!
Loved this creepy piece of horror. Truly unexpected in the best way. The last few lines were a bit confusing, but it could just be in my caffeine deprived mind, lol. Beautiful writing!
Thank you 😀 I think 300 words limited how fast I had to make them. So it could be a mix of both!
You know how to write horror. I memember reading this very early on. Sorry I didn’t leave a comment. Creepy! But, great ending.
That’s okay 😀 Not everyone likes to comment, or remembers to hehe. I can see how many people have visited the page and how long they’ve stayed on it. So I know people have visited anyway. Thank you for coming back to comment 😀
Oh my gosh… so creepy and gruesome, in an awesome way. Good job!
Excellent! Thank you – just what I wanted haha!
Ooh, gruesome! It’s so much fun seeing how everyone uses the words.
Lovely!
Mwuah hah hah <3
Eeek! This was great; you had me from that first fantastic line “Sunlight bleeds into the sky as the new day dawns”–shiver…..yummy writing, that. Props.
Thank you so much 😀 It was more fun than I should admit to write 😉
Excellent! Made my stomach turn in the best possible way!
Great 😀 That was the intention 😀 Glad you liked it!